Consciously Lazy and Selfish

A key question has been coming up for me lately…

How can I be consciously lazy and selfish when facilitating groups?

Unconscious laziness and selfishness imply either doing nothing, or doing something to serve my self-interest. But embracing these qualities consciously is actually a whole different thing.

In facilitating, to be consciously lazy means to be efficient: to do less in order to make the biggest impact. It also means letting go of stressful patterns. Rather than holding my breath and powering through to get goals met and get the job done, how can I learn to trust my “laziness” so that I know when to slow down and when to focus? This way I don’t have to re-cover afterward. Can my work be in tune with my inner knowing, so that I don’t have to be overwhelmed and stressed in the work itself? Can I listen well enough to delegate things that will empower others, rather than doing them myself to impress others? Can I be my relaxed self even while in the center of others’ focus?

Consciously selfish means trusting my deeper impulses, while being accountable to others. As a facilitator, if I am truly “holding the room,” then there really isn’t any “holding.” There is simple presence. If I can slow down enough, and be open and responsive enough, I can welcome and slip through my own defenses and underneath my own internal noises. This allows me to feel/sense/attune to the body of the room as if it was my own body. And my impulses come from within to serve that collective body. This is true conscious selfishness: “minding my own business” in order to serve others. Selfishly wanting everyone in the room to be truly satisfied and enlivened. Listening to my body as the body of the room, and honoring what “my/our” body needs.

Conscious laziness and selfishness are ideals that I strive for. I don’t believe I will ever really arrive at a final destination. And yet, I can continue to arrive in a rich “lostness” over and over. And this allows an Intelligence to move through me, which is gradually less and less filtered by my own limiting patterns.


I will be exploring this and many other aspects of leadership and consciousness in my “Awakened Leadership” retreat. It happens quite soon locally. Please message me if you are interested.